Love in Dark Settings

"I tried out a local writers' group last summer, but the problem was there were two poets, a non-fiction writer and several short story writers. And they really, really didn't want actual critique. People handed out copies of their stuff and other people pointed out a typo or the same word used twice in a paragraph. That's not critique, that's a circle jerk proofing."

--Storm Grant.

Topics in this post: slash fan fiction, writing historical fantasy, Internet addiction, Harry Potter, braille, partial sightedness, schedule, military fiction, sexism in literature, redemption in literature, office supplies.

*** 22 February 2008

Ah, finally. Laurence/Temeraire fanfic. I was a bit skeptical of the premise at first, but the dialogue is so very Temeraire.

From a letter to my apprentice tonight - a follow-up to our conversation about turn-of-the-century settings in fan fiction:

* * *

Ha. So turn-of-the-century social reform is
too boring to be fanficced, is it.

Newsies.
Newsies slash fiction.

(Confirming my impression that slashers'
definition of "interesting" is "cute guys.")

* * *

I glanced at a bit of the Newsies film, and the modern language kept jerking me out of the turn-of-the-century setting. Ack. I'm not one who should be throwing stones about that. I really need to immerse myself in more turn-of-the-century writings so that I can drum the language into my head.

That's one thing I admire about Naomi Novik. I caught a case where she used British slang that I don't think had been invented yet ("ripping"), but for the most part, her language felt period, yet at the same time it felt natural. That's the perfect combination.

*** 23 February 2008

Six hours online yesterday, mainly spent in useless surfing. That's the eighth time I've been online this month, and last month I was online nine times, whereas I'm only supposed to be online four times a month, if that much.

So I finally had to admit that my current Internet policy isn't working, and that I need to make some changes.

Change #1:

No more reading of Friends pages.

When I read Friends pages, I collect links, and when I collect links, I go online to download the linked pages, and then I end up staying online for hours at a time. I forced myself to sit down last night and think about what vitally important information I would miss if I stopped reading my Friends pages, and the answer was: none. Anything that I might consider really important, such as self-publishing news or announcements of new fiction, I could find by browsing through the relevant blogs/communities when necessary. The only other thing I'd miss was the posts by my friends (small F), but if I keep in touch with them by e-mail, I shouldn't need to have to read their blog entries.

What's pernicious about the Friends pages is that they keep me in a "consumer" mode of constantly acquiring new materials. As I mentioned in my Noah's Ark post, I'm trying to ween myself away from the attitude that I must always be acquiring new possessions. I'd like to learn to make do with what I already have (which, in the case of fiction, is dozens of unread stories and books on my hard drive, and dozens more on my bookshelves).

However . . .

Change #2:

Allow myself to collect half a dozen stories/e-texts/articles a week. A sop to my acquisitive nature, and a concession to the fact that I occasionally need to do research online.

Change #3:

Consolidate my two blogs. This will save time in posting. I think that, with proper warning labels for each entry, it can be done.

*** 24 February 2008

Several years ago, I read an original slash story by a rather talented writer - a story filled with interesting characters, cliffhanger scene endings, and a society that was totally messed up. I appreciated the last fact, because it introduced lots of angst into the story.

At the end of the story, the author resolved the problem that the characters were dealing with but left the society in a mess. When I told her that it was hard for me to enjoy a happily-ever-after ending in which the heroes ride off into the sunset while leaving other characters to continue writhing in agony, she said, rather blankly, "Oh. I didn't think of that. I was just trying to write a love story."

Well, after reading this thread, started by Erastes, about Deathly Hallows, I've concluded that this problem isn't confined to amateur authors. (Incidentally, if you don't read the whole thread, be sure to read this reply by Gehayi.

*** 25 February 2008

"It's like riding a bicycle or playing the piano," I told Doug, trying to convince myself that it was true. "Even when your mind has forgotten the patterns, your body remembers."

Amazingly, this appears to be true; my fingers still remember braille characters that my mind has forgotten. I read one braille page (about half a printed page) in twenty minutes, which is only twice the time I take when I'm at my best. Mind you, my comprehension wasn't great, but that's partly because I haven't read this novel (Patricia A. McKillip's Ombria in Shadow) for so long that I've forgotten what's going on in the storyline. I have the scanned version of the novel (from the same source as the braille version, Bookshare.org), so I'm going to read with my eyes the parts of the novel I already read in braille two or three years ago.

I realized that part of the reason I've been putting off reading in braille again is because my traditional preparations for reading braille are so tedious:

Find heating pad and facecloth. Take them downstairs to the kitchen. Heat heating pad for one minute and thirty seconds in the microwave, pausing every thirty seconds to turn the microwave plate, because the microwave no longer does this automatically. Meanwhile, take sealed container of purified water out of the refrigerator; open container a crack. Exchange heating pad for water; microwave for thirty seconds. Take out container, dip facecloth in water, and wring out excess water. Seal container and put extra water back in refrigerator. Take heating pad and facecloth upstairs. Start timer (to record how long I spend reading) and take off glasses. Position myself on the loveseat so that the facecloth is draped over my closed eyes. On top of the facecloth, place a plastic sheet, to keep the heating pad from getting wet (the pad is made of cloth). On top of the plastic sheet, place the heating pad. Somehow fumble the giant braille book onto my lap while beginning to develop inevitable crick in my neck from holding my head back for the heating pad.

This sort of procedure, when practiced several times a day, is tedious, so I've decided to skip it. Granted, my eyes do dry out when they're closed (I read braille with my eyes closed), but if worse comes to worse, I can always use heavier eye drops.

On a separate topic, I've refined my daily schedule slightly:

Simplicity reading.
Read fiction.
Exercise.
Write/edit or edit/research/publish.
Household duties.
Read fiction.
Sleep.
Read fiction.
Exercise.
Write/edit or edit/research/publish.
Call my apprentice.
Read fiction.
Simplicity reading.

Household duties are things like housework, organizing computer files, answering business correspondence, and so forth. The mid-day nap is necessary because my eyes can't do a full day's work without a break currently. However, they've bounced back from the awful state they were in a while back, even though I'm still having my sleep broken by them.

Later:

"Mike, start trouble in all warrens. Pass the news down the cells and use Finn's version, not the truth. The Goons are raping and killing all the women in the Complex - I'll give you details or you can invent them."

I want to invent a sequel to The Moon is a Harsh Mistress in which the Loonies discover that their so-called saviors have manipulated them, lied to them, stolen from them, censored their media, fixed their elections, and committed the odd murder or two. All for their own good, of course.

I'd forgotten what an end-justifies-the-means novel this is.

There are other passages in the novel that irritate me, such as this one:

"She started to learn farming from Greg but Mum put stop to that. While she was big and smart and willing, our farm is mostly a male operation - and Greg and Hans were not only male members of our family distracted; she cost more farming man-hours than her industry equaled."

Let's recall that Robert A. Heinlein wrote this particular passage later in the novel--

"[He] washed dishes with Milla, something no male in our family ever did."

--and tada! My version of what really happened:

"He started to learn dishwashing from Milla, but Greg put stop to that. While he was big and smart and willing, our dishwashing is solely a female operation - and Milla and Lenore were not only female members of our family distracted; he cost more dishwashing hours than his industry equaled."

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress is still my favorite Heinlein novel. The protagonist's philosophy - that any act can be justified as long as your heart is pure - makes me hold my nose, but he and the other main characters are still likeable.

Especially Mike. He's worth a billion passages with bad ethics.

*** 26 February 2008

I got to the part of The Moon is a Harsh Mistress where one of the good guys accepts an unconditional surrender from an enemy ship, and then kills everyone in the ship. "It seemed the prudent course," he says afterwards.

(*Image of Dusk shivering*.)

I spent a half hour on the phone tonight with my apprentice - also a Heinlein fan - while we groused about Heinlein's philosophies. I still cried, though, when I reached the end of The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. I always do.

The weather has turned cold again; even with the weather relatively warm last night, I didn't get much sleep, so I was sleepy all of today and couldn't get fiction-writing or editing done. I guess I'm just going to have accept a lowering of productivity till spring comes, which hopefully should be sometime next month.

I spent today reading fiction and writing a memoir that will probably never be published. (I write memoirs periodically and then trash them. It's the only sign of humility that I can ascribe to myself.)

I also unpacked old boxes of office supplies. It's amusing to see how many office supplies I have that I'll probably never use again. This got me to wondering which office supplies I still use.

(Picture of former office supply store clerk crying out to office supplies, "I still love you!" And I do; don't get me started on a eulogy for my tie-dyed pencils or my pastel cartridge pens that use magenta ink. I just love a paperless office more.)

At any rate, here's the lucky office supplies I still use:

Lined paper and pens and colored markers - I use these to create graphs of my daily hours. I could use an electronic spreadsheet (and do, for monthly totals), but it would take more time than creating a handwritten chart.

Pens and automatic pencils and 3 x 5" spiral notebooks - I take these with me when I go into D.C.

Pens and backs of old typewritten manuscripts and a writing pad - I use these to note corrections when proofreading by ear.

Pens and pencils and any handy writing surface, usually old envelopes or napkins - I grab these when inspiration hits me at home while I'm away from my desk, and I need to jot down a phrase or an ordering of dialogue.

Pens and a bookkeeping pad and a three-ring binder - these are still the most efficient way for me to keep track of what stages my zillion different stories are at in the editing/publishing process.

Envelopes and return address labels - I keep these hanging around. They wistfully await the rare moment when I encounter some organization that has never heard of e-mail.

That's pretty much it. I no longer have a printer. I haven't used a staple or hole-puncher or paper clip or index card or manilla folder in ages. Post-It notes? Don't make me laugh.

Even my 3 x 5" disks feel neglected.

*** 28 February 2008

"If Dillinger [a murderer] had understood what he was doing (which seemed incredible) then he got what was coming to him . . . except that it seemed a shame that he hadn't suffered as much as had little Barbara Anne - he practically hadn't suffered at all.

"But suppose, as seemed more likely, that he was so crazy that he had never been aware that he was doing anything wrong? What then? . . .

"I couldn't see but two possibilities. Either he couldn't be made well - in which case he was better dead for his own sake and for the safety of others - or he could be treated and made sane. In which case (it seemed to me) if he ever became sane enough for civilized society . . . and thought over what he had done while he was 'sick' - what could be left for him but suicide? How could he live with himself?"

I just shook my head while reading this passage from Starship Troopers, because it was obvious there was no room in Heinlein's worldview for the concept of redemption and reparation - the idea that a person who had done evil could then go on to do good . . . good that would have been lost to the world if the wrongdoer had simply been executed.

I sometimes wonder whether the problem with Heinlein is that he never committed (or at least didn't think he committed; I don't know much about his life) a really evil act. His characters are always divided into the bad guys (who do evil) and the good guys (who occasionally make mistakes but never do anything that is really evil). So he never has to deal in his novels with the problem of what happens when the protagonist or a loved one does something that's really, really despicable.

Incidentally, I agree with a character who says in that same chapter, "Man . . . is not born with moral sense. You were not born with it, I was not - and a puppy has none. We acquire moral sense, when we do, through training, experience, and hard sweat of the mind." But Heinlein seems to think it's a one-way thing - that once you acquire a moral sense, you must necessarily act on it . . . or if not, you're just a nasty person who needs to be shot.

I think that Thomas Mott Osborne had far greater insight into human nature when he said, "The dangerous and desperate criminal is often only the hero gone wrong."

*** 29 February 2008

Decided that I really do need to read my friends' [small F] blogs, as well as the POD People blog, to keep up with news on self-publishing. Other than that, we'll see when I go online.

ACTIVITIES SINCE MY LAST DAILY LIFE ENTRY

Fiction written and edited:
--"Compassion's Keeper: Initiation" (Life Prison).

Fiction edited:
--"Right or Right" (Darkling Plain).

Fiction laid out:
--"Blood Vow: Land of the Jackal."

Fiction read:
--Assorted fan fiction.
--Patricia A. McKillip: "Ombria in Shadow" (in braille).
--Robert A. Heinlein: "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress."
--Robert A. Heinlein: "Starship Troopers."
--heartofslash: "Army of Two."

Leisure reading (picture books):
--Roz Abisch (with illustrations by Boche Kaplan): "Open Your Eyes."
--Gladys L. Adshead (with illustrations by Elizabeth Orton Jones): "Brownies - Hush!"
--Aliki: "June 7."
--Harry Allard and James Marshall: "Miss Nelson is Missing!"
--Harry Allard and James Marshall: "Miss Nelson is Back."