Love in Dark Settings

"When my husband and I were first dating and I found out he hadn't read the Narnia books as a kid, I insisted he read them. He really enjoyed most of them despite being extremely leery of organized Christianity, but when he finished the series, he said, 'I dunno. For the first six books it felt like the Christian symbolism was kind of gently caressing my subconscious... and then in the last one, it suddenly tackled me to the ground and started dry humping me while screaming "who's your daddy?"'"

--maculategiraffe.

Topics in this post: Storms, heat, publishing historical fantasy print books, haircuts, my mother's 1966 letters, slash convention, review of my leather fiction, slavefic, the fan fiction community.

*** 4 June 2008

So here I am, sitting on the loveseat in my study, MP3 player in hand, headphones around my neck, with the Book of Common Prayer in my lap. I've unplugged both computers because the lights have been flickering from an incoming thunderstorm. Suddenly a blast of wind through the western window nearly blows everything off my desk.

Three minutes later, I'm down in the basement, accompanied by my MP3 player, headphones, prayer book, battery-powered radio, laptop, flash drive (which has the latest fiction files from my desktop computer), three types of eyedrops/gels, the tenant (the only one who's home at the time), and the handset to the wireless phone, which I'm using to call Doug at my mother's house, to let him know that tornadoes have been sighted.

Pretty good emergency evacuation drill. The only thing I wish I'd had with me is the cell phone (I wasn't sure where Doug keeps his), a flashlight (ours broke a while back), extra batteries for the radio and flashlight already kept downstairs, a supply of eyedrops kept downstairs, and a gallon of water kept downstairs, just in case we got buried under rubble.

Ironically, I was just reading recently an article in a newsmagazine - Time? - about disaster preparedness. They said that one of the factors that decides whether you survive is whether you've thought out ahead of time what you would do in an emergency.

Well, it helps that I've lived in this house since I was eleven. This is hardly the first time I've taken refuge during a tornado warning; a couple of years back, a tornado touched down a few miles away, at the University of Maryland. My father watched it cross the campus from the window of the classroom where he was teaching. And all through my childhood - being a normally paranoid child - I thought through in my mind what I would do if there were a tornado or a fire. (I still don't have an emergency ladder in my second-story bedroom, darn it.)

I also feel better about the fact that I've started backing up my stories in a password-protected Webspace, so that, even if the house is swept away by a tornado while I'm elsewhere, I won't lose everything. I'm thinking of also backing my stories up in the password-protected Webspace offered by my e-mail provider, which is located in Australia. That way, even if the entire east coast of the U.S. is hit by nuclear bombs, my writing apprentice (who is currently serving as my literary executor) would be able to retrieve my stories.

However, perhaps this is the appropriate moment to point folks here to maureenlycaon's must-see post about the importance of backing up one's computer data, with some helpful hints on how to do so.

By the way, our tenant was nervous during the storm. He's from Florida, where they only have hurricanes.

In other news, I got the final scene of Whipster written before the storm hit. This is the third time I've written a final scene for the novel. The first one wasn't right, so I added another scene; then, when I realized that this particular novella would end the novel, I knew that I needed to add another scene. I'm glad I was able to get that out of the way. I've also finished the proofreading for the first novella within the novel.

Meanwhile, I'll have to struggle with cover art and layout. My father (who's helping my prepare my layout template) winced when he saw CreateSpace's guidelines for margins. I'm going to have to seek the advice of the POD Publishers list folks again.

*** 6 June 2008

In our yard, the only casualty from the storms from seems to be our seven-foot-high rose (I'm not exaggerating; now we know what happens to roses that one doesn't prune for a couple of decades), which was in full bloom before the storm but lost all its petals. It's still standing upright, though.

*** 7 June 2008

Doug and I gave each other haircuts today. To my delight (it's the right time of year for this; it was ninety-seven degrees today), Doug gave me the shortest haircut I've ever had in my life. I only shied off when he came at me with a razor. I hate razor stubble; it itches.

Doug, on the other hand, delights in a buzz-cut so close that he might as well be a Marine. I told him I felt like a military recruiter when shaving him.

Speaking of similar matters, I read recently a critic of modern architecture who looked down his nose at skyscraper "made of the same reflective glass as is used in chain-gang guards' glasses." I'll never look at such skyscrapers the same way again.

*** 9 June 2008

I'm now reading my mother's 1966 letters to my father, when I was three and we were living in Chicago. My mother recounts how she played with me that we were having a birthday party, and how I grew disgusted with her when she couldn't blow out the final candle on the "cake" I had made. I grew even more disgusted with her when she didn't know that the candles were pink. That sounds like me.

In another letter, she talks about watching the Emmy Awards, where "A Charlie Brown Christmas" rose above "Captain Kangaroo" to win the award for best children's award. "Charlie isn't used to winning," Charles Schultz announced. She recorded the "look of amazement" on Bill Cosby's face when he won an award, and told how Carol Burnett and some fellow "clowned for a bit and then she suddenly grabbed him, bent him over backwards, and gave him a torrid kiss. It broke up the whole crowd. So did Jimmy Durante making eyes at Tina Louise (the movie star on 'Gilligan's Island'). His remark was the one, made with a serious face, that he 'used to have bangs like that once myself.'"

My mother also said that Xerox "got the Trustees Award for outstanding contribution in the field of information 'while keeping their advertisements in the highest good taste . . . and being attentive at all times to the dramatic sense of the program in not intruding at the wrong time' (or something to that effect)." I read this to Doug and then had to remind him that this was the era when advertisements were integrated into the programs.

He was sitting in the kitchen, reading the study guide for a video lecture on dinosaurs, while I was sitting in the dining room, reading Mother's letters; we kept walking over to each other to tell each other what we were reading.

I was in the dining room in order to get what little breeze was coming in from the patio. Today is the third day in the high nineties, with more of the same expected tomorrow. In fact, this is the first time since noon (it's nine p.m. now) that I've been able to bear to come upstairs. It was such an inferno that I turned off my computers and came downstairs yesterday. Yesterday and today, I sat in the dining room in the early afternoon, playing "Whipster" on my MP3 player in order to proofread. Today, when things got unbearable even downstairs, I went to my mother's. Her apartment is in a building made of thick cinderblocks, so it's nice and cool.

My eye drops I put down on the lower level of our house, where the air conditioning was on.

And why, you may ask, did the tenants get air conditioning, but we didn't? My dry eye hates air conditioning. That's the main reason I can't work outside my home; there isn't a self-respecting business in the D.C. area that doesn't have air conditioning. (The other reason is that central heating dries out my eyes in the winter. Of course it does so at home too, but I can put washcloths over my eyes when the heater is on. "You can't stand the cold?" said my southwestern apprentice, momentarily forgetting that "cold" in my part of the country doesn't mean the temperature going down to fifty at night.)

Doug - who has poorer tolerance of heat than I do - has been a saint about our lack of air conditioning, claiming that he "loves this weather."

I'm on the computer tonight only so that I can create more MP3 files of "Whipster" scenes; then I'm turning my computer off again till Wednesday, when the temperature will finally go down to the low nineties.

*** 12 July 2008

I've packed my books for Con.txt: The Book of Common Prayer, Essential Monastic Wisdom, The Manga Bible, Hot Jedi Knights . . . I asked Doug yesterday, while I was picking books off the library bookshelf, whether there was a special place in hell reserved for someone who checked out a bunch of books on prayer, plus Writing Erotica.

Later:

So I'm packing for the con, and I'm remembering that my mother said I should take my umbrella with me because it might shower this weekend, and I'm wondering whether it's worth the bother to drag along an umbrella on the chance that I'll leave the hotel where the con is (and am simultaneously irritated with myself that the only thing I never forget on trips is my mother's advice), and I think, "Well, maybe I'll bring along my purple duck umbrella. It's light."

And then I think, "Wait a minute."

So I went to see my purple duck umbrella, and she was highly miffed that I'd even consider going to the con without her. (I always thought she was a he. Clearly I was wrong. I'm toying with the possibility that she's an MTF.)

*** 17 June 2008

Well, my recorded schedule today looked like this:

* * *

LEISURE/ONLINE - 11:20 [i.e. nearly twelve hours]
x --Post and announce con report.
x --Mindless surfing. What else do you expect after a con?

* * *

I've put my computer away till I get myself under control.

Part of what kept me online was that lots of people were responding to my convention report posts. Gosh. It's been a long time since more than one person replied to a message I'd posted.

Along the way, I was amused by this post.

I did get a little reading done today of original slash, and since part of that was offline, I'll be able to do more fiction reading tomorrow. Heaven knows I have plenty of slash stories on my computer, waiting to be read. But somehow I need to wind down from the con, because I've got tons of work to do.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention: J. M. Snyder, whom I chatted with at the con, wrote to tell me today that a review of Leather, Licking, and Lawnmowers had been posted at Rainbow Reviews. It's the first review I've ever received (other than readers' recommendations), and it turned out to be a five-star review. What a lovely post-con gift.

*** 18 June 2008

Doug: "The new Firefox is out. Squee!"

I know my life is going right when I've got Doug doing fandom-speak.

Later:

Some stats for the past two days:

Number of hours spent online: 17.

Number of comments on my post about Con.txt (posted at my blog and at two LiveJournal communities): 64.

Number of my replies to those comments (not all of the comments were directed toward me): 28.

Number of slavefic installments downloaded by me: 153.

As I wailed to maculategiraffe: "When am I going to find time to write my own slavefic?"

It's partly maculategiraffe's fault. Not only did I spend three-and-a-half hours reading her Slave Breakers: Bran story, but I fell in love with her LiveJournal community, which I just discovered. As though having slavefics (slavefic and servantfic - fan fiction and original fiction) weren't enough, now we have maculategiraffe's orig_slavefic (slavefic and M/s - original fiction). I downloaded seventy-three story installments from it . . . and only got as far back in its archives as June 1. It is the busiest original fiction comm I have ever encountered. And folks meta like crazy over there; my post about Con.txt is up to 50 comments by now. (A goodly number of which are my replies to comments, *cough cough*.)

Adding this onto last weekend's activities, I've not only fallen in love with orig_slavefic; I've also fallen back in love with the fan fiction community.

For the past two years, I've been worrying about everything under the sun: How to make money from my stories. Whether my Website and blog look professional. What is the best way for me to go about self-publishing. How to make money from my stories. How to format my books. Whether my books look professional. How to make money from my stories. Whether I've been reading the right sort of fiction to create professional-sounding stories. Whether the reviewers will like me. How to make money from my stories. . . You get the idea. My mind has been turning away from fiction-writing and obsessing over how to be successful, both professionally and monetarily.

Con.txt and orig_slavefic have been like a dash of cold water in my face. None of that matters! the fan fiction community sings. What matters is that you have fun, and that your readers have fun!

Have fun while releasing stories to readers. What a novel idea.

So I'm going back to my roots. I'm going to write. I'm going to post online what I write and get as many of my stories into print as I can, 'cause I and my readers agree that it would be really neat to have my stories in print.

And I'm not going to worry about the rest. Yes, I'll continue to promote my stories everywhere I can, but I'm not going to let myself obsess over whether I'm a success. And if anything professional that I'm doing turns out to be drudge-work - and it's not drudge-work that makes my stories better, like proofreading - then I'll toss it in favor of activities that bring enjoyment to me and my readers.

"Glee." That was a word that was being tossed around by the folks I was exchanging posts with - the quality that they believe makes stories from the fanfic community so good, and that is missing from so much professional fiction. I need to keep glee inside me if my stories are going to continue to be worth anything.

ACTIVITIES SINCE MY LAST WRITING LIFE ENTRY

(This goes back to the beginning of May, because I forgot to include it in my last Writing Life entry.)

Fiction written and edited:
--"Triad" (Life Prison).
--"Elevator" (Leather in Lawnville).
--"Whipster" (Michael's House).

Fiction edited:
--"Leather, Licking, and Lawnmowers" (Leather in Lawnville).
--"On Guard" (The Eternal Dungeon).
--"Whipster" (Michael's House).
--"Hell's Messenger 2: Tour" (Life Prison).

Fiction laid out and published:
--"Leather, Licking, and Lawnmowers" (Leather in Lawnville).
--"The Slavefic Plot Creator."
--"Hell's Messenger 2: Tour" (Life Prison).

Trailers edited:
--"Leather, Licking, and Lawnmowers" (Leather in Lawnville).

Fiction read:
--Dan Sakers (editor): "Gaylaxicon 2006 Sampler."
--Diana Gabaldon: "Lord John and the Hand of Devils."
--Parhelion: "The High Priestess."
--Jean Merrill: "The Pushcart War."
--Walter R. Brooks: "Freddy the Detective."
--Christie Harris: "You Have to Draw the Line Somewhere."
--azure_chaos: "Rescue Pup" (NCIS fan fiction).
--maculategiraffe: "The Slave Breakers: Bran" (original slash).
--Clara Swift: "Bleak Aspect" (crossover historical AU slash fan fiction).
--cgravenstone: "O Captain, My Captain" (original slash).
--libertas_atis: "My Name is Sam" (original slash).

Research reading (history):
--Donald Lowrie: "My Life in Prison" (1912).
--Kate Douglas Wiggin: "Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm" (1903).
--Margaret Sidney: "The Five Little Peppers and How They Grew" (1881).
--World War One poetry.

Research reading (authorship/publishing):
--"Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Usage."
--Isaac Asimov: "It's Been a Good Life."
--Stephen King: "On Writing."
--Pete Masterson: "Book Design and Production: A Guide for Authors and Publishers."
--Diane Eble: "Behind the Stories: Christian Novelists Reveal the Heart in the Art of Their Writing."
--Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman: "How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid them - a Misstep-by-Misstep Guide."
--C.J. Cherryh: "Writerisms and other Sins: A Writer's Shortcut to Stronger Writing" (online article).
--Stephen Gold: "Verb Power for Writers" (online article).
--Orin Hargraves: "Mighty Fine Words and Smashing Expressions: Making Sense of Transatlantic English."
--Edo van Belkom: "Writing Erotica."
--A. B. Guthrie: "A Field Guide to Writing Fiction."
--Michael Mitchell and Susan Wightman: "Book Typography: A Designer's Manual."
--P.G. Burbidge: "Prelims and End-Pages."
--John Trevitt: "Book Design."

Research reading (simplicity):
--See the bottom of my latest Life of Simplicity entry.

Leisure reading (nonfiction):
--Hardy Haberman: "Soul of a Second Skin: The Journey of a Gay Christian Leatherman."
--Andy Wasowski with Sally Wasowski: "The Landscaping Revolution: Garden with Mother Nature, Not Against Her."
--Noel Kingsbury: "Natural Gardening in Small Spaces."
--Stevie Daniels: "The Wild Lawn Handbook: Alternatives to the Traditional Front Lawn."
--"John Brookes' Natural Landscapes."
--Sherry Mitchell: "Creating Sanctuary: A New Approach to Gardening in the Washington Metropolitan Area."
--"Universalist Friends: The Journal of the Quaker Universalist Fellowship."
--Cathy Crimmins: "How the Homosexuals Saved Civilization: The True and Heroic Story of How Gay Men Shaped the Modern World."

Shows watched:
--"The Waltons: The Literary Man."

Books bought:
--Parhelion: "The High Priestess."

Events attended:
--Con.txt slash fiction convention (Silver Spring, Maryland).

Places visited:
--Sackler Art Gallery (D.C.).
--Freer Art Gallery (D.C.).
--National Museum of Natural History (D.C.).
--National Gallery of Art (D.C.).
--Riverby Books (Capitol Hill, D.C.).