Nov. 19th, 2011

On gender identities and lying

Jessewave has cut off the comments for this thread, as I discovered *after* I composed a reply. Since this is on a topic where I feel I have something to contribute, I'm posting my reply here (as an open letter to the m/m fiction community; I don't expect Wave to go bouncing around to various people's blogs, reading their posts on this subject).

Reply to 'Faking It' )

Jan. 24th, 2011

My pronoun preference

In answer to the courteous "Which pronoun do you prefer?" question, my answer is: None. Just my name is fine. If you find it necessary to use a pronoun, and you don't wish to use some gender-neutral pronoun ("they," etc.), then feel free to pick whichever pronoun you like. Whatever your choice, I won't be offended. The only thing that really disconcerts me is when people abruptly change pronouns in reference to me, once they learn what my biological sex is. I find that very confusing.

If you wish to address me formally, my only suggestion is that you take a cue from Dr. Seuss and add an honorary Dr. to my last name. (I hasten to add that I have not earned an actual doctorate - but neither had Dr. Seuss when he coined that pen name.)

I don't have any strong sense of gender identity. Because of that, I prefer not to think about whether I belong in the pink or blue categories. People I meet online who try to guess whether I'm male or female tend to guess both ways, so I sometimes describe myself as androgynous, though the label non-gendered is more accurate. I'm still in the same body I was born with, and I don't have any reason to change.

June 2018




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